Hey Baby, Wanna Split a Jalapeno?

Today, I have learned yet another bizarre bit of history: graham crackers were originally developed as a bland food made to discourage "carnal urges". Yes in 1829, one Reverend Sylvester Graham decided that spicy, flavorful foods were a bit too exciting for the average, easily-tempted yahoo, and that he needed to come up with a more innocuous comestible to curb our more animal desires. This is the same view held by our own semi-local famous health nut, one John Harvey Kellogg. I wonder how the good reverend would feel knowing that his attempt at blandness was perverted by the sultry marshmallow and seductive chocolate bar. Aghast, I imagine.

More importantly, what if the dude was right, and we just never caught on? I mean, it's common knowledge that spicy food release endorphins, which arouses feelings of pleasure. What if instead of the sexual revolution being driven by the throwing off antiquated inhibitions and flowering personal freedoms, it was really just that Mexican food was getting more popular? What if the increased population growth rates in Asia have less to do with changes in economic and medical improvements, and more to do with increased access to chana pindi and szechuan chicken?

One thing is for certain: this would explain a whole lot about my unnatural attraction to the international foods aisle at Meijer and why I blush when I get caught manhandling the big bottles of Pace Medium Salsa.