Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

Each night after school, one of the first orders of business is the unpacking of the bags. This includes the Princess' folder of work, which contains the usual sheets of word and math exercises, various art projects, and other such school related work. It also frequently includes various sign ups, fund raisers, and event notices, each calling for cash. It's getting to the point that I'm wondering if a private school might have been a more straight forward investment.

I don't want anyone thinking that I'm unhappy with the schools themselves. As far as education, I have so far been pretty happy with what she's getting. It's just disheartening to see so much reliance on fund raising for everything. Right now, we have no less than a book order form, a notice attached to the book order form letting you know that all of the books will be available in a store set up in the cafeteria for a couple of days that all the students will be visiting (nothing like peer pressure to make sales), a notice about tomorrow's bake sales (we've got to send in baked goods to sell and make sure the kids bring money to buy the stuff from other classes), and a request for contents for the gift basket auction.

That's just the current list, and keep in mind that it does not include all of the extra-curricular activities that we pay for. In the last week I wrote checks for all day Kindergarten, after school care, the father-daughter dance (apparently the boys don't dance), and soccer in the spring. Of course none of those is required (or at least if they are, it's because of other decisions we've made), but seriously, what kind of louse would I be to skip out on the father-daughter dance? (Despite what you may think you know, that's the first step to the downfall of a daughter. If I skip that dance, I might as well buy her a stripper pole and change her name to Cherry.)

Anyway, what's really bothering me is that last night's folder included a note from a parent. The Princess' teacher had a baby last weekend, and there is a call for a baby gift. Tell me how much you'll kick in, and then catch me later - that kind of thing. I don't dislike the fact that they asked. What bothered me was my reaction to it. I don't think of myself as a selfish person (discounting situations where there is a limited supply of beer or Rice Krispy treats, in which case it's every man for himself), but I saw that note and all I could think was "Dammit, what do they want money for now?".

That's terrible. Having a baby is a huge (and costly) endeavor, and I'm happy to give anyone any help I can. I can not overemphasize how much I appreciated every baby gift we received, or how much help we got from the in-laws when we needed it. But here I am, so inundated with requests for money from the school systems that when this note came through, I recoiled.

I'll get over it. I just wish we as a country could figure out a way to actually fund schools instead of the ridiculous crap that we currently throw money at. Ask any politician, and they will swear up and down that education is the most important thing we can do to ensure our country's success, but somehow that sentiment never seems to make it to the checkbook.

I'm not all talk either. Once I establish my rule as Supreme Emperor of Everything, this will be my first order of business. Well, I'll get to it after I've disposed of my enemies and made sure everyone gets a monkey if they want one. That will be the key to my empire - judicious use of monkeys (as opposed to our current government, where we only use one but we let him run things).