Now Get Off Of My Virtual Lawn

Okay, like all gamers, when the "Next Gen" consoles came out, I drooled appropriately. I stood in awe of the shiny graphics. I follow each release and review and long to play those console-only titles that garner the greatest ratings. In short, I wanted.

I am not, however, going to get, because the good people at Sony and Microsoft officially lost their collective *$%#ing minds. At some point, someone decided that nobody needs a gaming system, they need an entertainment system. And let's face it, in a world of giant, flat screen televisions that cost thousands of dollars, what's a few hundred bucks for an entertainment system to run on it. While we're at it, if you're willing to pay that much for the system, fifty or sixty bucks for a game to play on it must be reasonable.

Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.

Only Nintendo seems to understand that people have DVRs and DVD players for their television and movie viewing pleasures, and that what we need is a gaming system that just plays video games. This isn't rocket science. So they put out a system for a couple hundred dollars that plays games and, what do you know, people buy them. A lot of them. Of course, I don't have one of those either, but if I was going to buy a new system, that would be the one I got.

No, instead I'm going to continue to do what I've always done. I'm going to enjoy the last generation of games. You see, after a year or two, I can go to the bargain bins and Amazon, and score what was the absolute greatest game ever written two years ago for a few bucks. Funny thing is, the games are still a lot of fun. Not as shiny, but a lot of fun.

Current example: I just scored Evil Dead: Regeneration for ye olde Xbox. Not the 360 mind you (which for those of you who are geometrically challenged is turning all the way around and ending up in the same place - odd name for the next gen), but my faithful black brick of an Xbox. It's not the greatest game in the world, but it has a lot of elements I enjoy in a game. There's brutal violence directed at undead foes, there's a chainsaw, and it's voiced by the one and only Bruce Campbell, which all by itself was worth the price of admission. The best part of the deal though, was that I got it for three dollars.

That's right, three buckaroonies. Less than a vente at Starbuck's. Less than a bag of Doritos. Heck, it's less than I paid to rent the last DVD of the latest season of 24, which is why I was in the video store to begin with.

That right there is why last gen is always, to my mind, the best. Sure I miss out on all the neato graphics and all that, but the games still rock like they did when they were released, the reviews are all in so I can avoid the games that blow eggwater, and I pay next to nothing for them.

So you can all keep your fancy toys. I'll read the reviews, make a list of what's worthwhile, and score them in a couple of years, when the Xbox 720 is making the other kids dizzy. The hordes of the undead need not be stunningly rendered, so long as the boomstick does what it's supposed to.