Or Name It After Marty Feldman, Cause, You Know, He's Got the Eyes

Okay, I'm pretty busy today, so we're going to be brief. I know that traditionally, we name diseases after the doctor who discovered them. As someone who's still waiting for my blood test results, I would like to personally like to protest the name Graves' Disease, a thyroid condition that my family has a history of, the mention of which caused my doctor to perk up like he was a dog and I had just produced a hunk of beef jerky.

No offense to Dr Robert James Graves, whom it was named after, but seriously, in the name of bedside manner, could we come up with something a tad less morbid? You wouldn't tell someone that they have a "crypt condition", would you? Or perhaps show concern over "sarcophageal symptoms"? No, because it would freak people out. So let's do the right thing and move the credit over to Karl Adolph von Basedow like the Europeans have done. Basedow's Disease sounds like something you can beat.