Pirates and Princesses in 2016

So, last night the Princess and I were discussing what our platforms would be should we be running for President. Of course I went with the usual "monkeys for everyone" promise, but her ideas were much more creative. As such, we have decided to start campaigning now to build up momentum for when I'm actually old enough to run for President.

Having already covered the whole monkey thing, our next campaign promise is to push legislature that will require all stores, regardless of purpose, to provide complimentary frozen treats (think of the colored tubes you buy in a case and then freeze when you get home) with each purchase. Buying a new pair of shoes? Have a frozen treat. Need a notebook for school? Have a frozen treat.

I know what you're thinking: won't this be an unfair burden on the shopkeepers? Well, there will be the initial investment of putting in a freezer, but the treats themselves will be provided by the government. This is a relatively minor cost when you consider the fact that the average frozen treat of this variety is nothing but sugar, water, and flavoring. So, we add to the economy in two ways. First, there will now be government jobs relating to the frozen treat industry. Second, people will spend more money. Seriously, they will. They'll be thinking about putting off some purchase, but then the lure of a delicious frozen treat will drive them to commit to that purchase.

Do not underestimate the power of a frozen treat. Especially lime.

I know my opponents will claim that this will undermine the existing frozen treat industry, but that just isn't so. People will continue to purchase them for home consumption, and designer treats such as those made by the actual Popsicle company will continue to fulfill the needs of those who have more elaborate tastes when it comes to iced snacks on a stick (say that five times fast). What's more, there will be the added benefit of immediate satisfaction, since a person who goes to the store to buy frozen treats will receive an already frozen treat with their purchase, alleviating the frustration of having to wait for the box of treats to freeze when you want one right away.

This is just the beginning, people. I'm sure that in the next eight years, our candidacy will become a thing of greatness. Of course I'll have to find a suitable running mate, as the Princess will be like thirteen at that point, but she'll make a fine cabinet member.

What do you think of "Secretary of Really Good Ideas"?

**UPDATE**
The princess informed me that the sleeve type frozen treats are not good enough, and that what we need is the standard frozen treat on a stick. You don't mess with a really good idea.