So, another weekend has come and gone, and since I went into the weekend sick, waking up on Saturday with a slight fever, I took the opportunity to lay around and relax. Nah, I'm just kidding. I spent a lot of the weekend outside pulling up sod in the hot sun. Oddly enough, I'm not feeling a ton better this morning. Go figure.
I'm not sure what it is in me that prevents me from simply calling a time out when I need it. Maybe it's that I continue to feel behind. Don't get me wrong - things have improved immensely. We've gotten the calendars under control, neither of us are working crazy hours anymore, and we're far more prepared for the coming school year than last year.
Still, in my head all I can see is the to do list, ever present. So when we get a weekend where we haven't promised to go somewhere, I find myself undertaking these project, which is ironic because, as is often the case, now it's Monday, I feel like death, and our bonus projects over the weekend meant getting behind in our standard tasks, like laundry and groceries. Ugh.
Unfortunately, neither illness nor exhaustion nor extreme burnout can hinder me from plodding forward. I think it's guilt from all those years of being a slacker, sitting on my hind end in a semi-comatose state watching television and playing video games. Those wonderful, wonderful years...wait, what was I saying? Ah, yes. To make up for what I put others through, and out of fear that I won't be able to tell excuses from actual issues, I push ahead through all conditions, trying to be the person I think I ought to.
Apparently, there are times when I'm under the impression that the person I ought to be is dead, because I'm starting to think I might be pushing a bit too hard.
I'm not sure what it is in me that prevents me from simply calling a time out when I need it. Maybe it's that I continue to feel behind. Don't get me wrong - things have improved immensely. We've gotten the calendars under control, neither of us are working crazy hours anymore, and we're far more prepared for the coming school year than last year.
Still, in my head all I can see is the to do list, ever present. So when we get a weekend where we haven't promised to go somewhere, I find myself undertaking these project, which is ironic because, as is often the case, now it's Monday, I feel like death, and our bonus projects over the weekend meant getting behind in our standard tasks, like laundry and groceries. Ugh.
Unfortunately, neither illness nor exhaustion nor extreme burnout can hinder me from plodding forward. I think it's guilt from all those years of being a slacker, sitting on my hind end in a semi-comatose state watching television and playing video games. Those wonderful, wonderful years...wait, what was I saying? Ah, yes. To make up for what I put others through, and out of fear that I won't be able to tell excuses from actual issues, I push ahead through all conditions, trying to be the person I think I ought to.
Apparently, there are times when I'm under the impression that the person I ought to be is dead, because I'm starting to think I might be pushing a bit too hard.
1 comment:
Burn the list! If it's important, you'll remember to do it. If you forget, well then, it probably wasn't very important. Burn the list and start living!
M-I-L
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