According to recent posts in our work message board, we have once again been attacked by that most unusual work annoyance. See, someone around here has a weird habit of stealing other people's lunches. Not just pre-packaged things either. They're taking someone's leftovers.
This is a whole world of bizarre as far as I'm concerned. Ignoring the fact that what you're doing would definitely get you fired, and technically could result in actual criminal charges, what with it being theft and all, you stealing someone's &$%*ing lunch. Dude, I know things are tough, but cough up five bucks and get a sammich at Subway.
What's really strange to me though is stealing someone's leftovers lunch. I mean, are you really so desperate that the meatloaf some stranger had for dinner last night is actually a good choice? Maybe it's a crime of convenience - someone was coming, so they just grabbed the first paper bag they saw and walked. Either way, it's creepy eating other people's home made food. I mean, you don't know what their definition of 'sanitary' is, do you? Or maybe they have creepy eating habits. All I'm saying is that at some point, someone packed a cold placenta sandwich. Is not missing lunch really worth taking that chance?
Anyway, what I always wonder about this is how they go about it. Do they scope out the lunches during the morning, or is it a sudden decision? Did they just forget lunch, or is it a game they enjoy playing? Is our economy really so bad that people in a professional setting are resorting to theft to feed themselves (it is Michigan, so I don't entirely discount that possibility)? How do you play it when you get caught pinching someone else's brown bag? Claim it was a mistake or draw the guns and make your escape? And doesn't the guilt take away what little enjoyment you're going to get out of that already mediocre Salisbury steak frozen dinner anyway?
You know, it strikes me that not only have I thought about this too much already, but I suddenly feel the need to see if my lunch is okay.
This is a whole world of bizarre as far as I'm concerned. Ignoring the fact that what you're doing would definitely get you fired, and technically could result in actual criminal charges, what with it being theft and all, you stealing someone's &$%*ing lunch. Dude, I know things are tough, but cough up five bucks and get a sammich at Subway.
What's really strange to me though is stealing someone's leftovers lunch. I mean, are you really so desperate that the meatloaf some stranger had for dinner last night is actually a good choice? Maybe it's a crime of convenience - someone was coming, so they just grabbed the first paper bag they saw and walked. Either way, it's creepy eating other people's home made food. I mean, you don't know what their definition of 'sanitary' is, do you? Or maybe they have creepy eating habits. All I'm saying is that at some point, someone packed a cold placenta sandwich. Is not missing lunch really worth taking that chance?
Anyway, what I always wonder about this is how they go about it. Do they scope out the lunches during the morning, or is it a sudden decision? Did they just forget lunch, or is it a game they enjoy playing? Is our economy really so bad that people in a professional setting are resorting to theft to feed themselves (it is Michigan, so I don't entirely discount that possibility)? How do you play it when you get caught pinching someone else's brown bag? Claim it was a mistake or draw the guns and make your escape? And doesn't the guilt take away what little enjoyment you're going to get out of that already mediocre Salisbury steak frozen dinner anyway?
You know, it strikes me that not only have I thought about this too much already, but I suddenly feel the need to see if my lunch is okay.
No comments:
Post a Comment