Often, when I refer to my school days, I make passing jokes about not doing my work. The fact is that I didn't. I was easily distracted. I told a lot of jokes (shocking, I know). I goofed off in class. I was, in short, a kid.
I bring it up because we face a familiar song here. The Princess is having trouble following directions in school. Now, this doesn't come as a huge suprise to me. When tasked with something, she does just what I used to do. She starts in on it, seemingly whole-heartedly dedicated to the task, but quickly becomes distracted by something and wanders off task, only to be brought back by a reminder of what she was supposed to be doing.
What gets to me though is that when this came up in Kindergarten, and again when it came up this year, there was a subtle hint about the communications coming from the schools. Nothing blatant of course, but rather a suspicion on my part that the teachers are fishing for something in particular, a suspicion that was confirmed by my sister-in-law, a teacher herself. I suspect that they are trying to get us to question if our lovely daughter has ADHD.
ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, has been kind of a scapegoat from what I can see, so the idea of someone trying to pin her behavior down like that infuriates me. In part, it's because I have no doubt that had this term been bandied around when I was a kid, my own parents would have happily diagnosed me and proceeded to medicate me into mediocrity ("better living through chemistry" was sort of a mantra in our household). Fortunately for me, when I was a kid we didn't throw pharmaceuticals at every behavioral problem, so instead of getting drugged, I was put into classes for advanced students, where I began to flourish.
Now I know that every parent has a blind spot when this sort of thing comes up. I know that we don't want to believe that anything is wrong with out children. So I am wary about the idea that maybe she's advanced instead of having some disorder. But when I look at how she becomes distracted, it just feels so damned familiar. She over thinks things. When she's given a task, she start brainstorming new ways to accomplish it, almost always over complicating things to the point of being ridiculous, but the sheer creativity involved is amazing. I have a hard time even considering that as something it would be beneficial to quash with a pill.
Also, I don't want to sound offhand about people who really do have ADHD. As someone who used to fight with depression, and at time still does, I can tell you that nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn't know what you're going through telling you that it's all in your head. I'm lucky that I was able to control mine without medical assistance, but I can still feel it there, creeping around the edges of my mind. I know that if I'm not careful and vigilant, my natural tendency will always spin everything in a negative light. I also know that isn't the person that I am - it's something that's off. So to those who really have these issues, I sympathize.
Nonetheless, we will take on our daughter's behavior as something that just requires a little work. We're establishing routines. We're giving her more attention now that other things in our lives are finally settling down. I accept that I'm biased, but I know she'll be fine, and given the right guidance, something that didn't happen for me until it was too late, I think she could really blow everyone out of the water.
Of course it doesn't hurt that she's the most amazing little girl that's ever existed in the entire history of mankind. Ever.
I bring it up because we face a familiar song here. The Princess is having trouble following directions in school. Now, this doesn't come as a huge suprise to me. When tasked with something, she does just what I used to do. She starts in on it, seemingly whole-heartedly dedicated to the task, but quickly becomes distracted by something and wanders off task, only to be brought back by a reminder of what she was supposed to be doing.
What gets to me though is that when this came up in Kindergarten, and again when it came up this year, there was a subtle hint about the communications coming from the schools. Nothing blatant of course, but rather a suspicion on my part that the teachers are fishing for something in particular, a suspicion that was confirmed by my sister-in-law, a teacher herself. I suspect that they are trying to get us to question if our lovely daughter has ADHD.
ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, has been kind of a scapegoat from what I can see, so the idea of someone trying to pin her behavior down like that infuriates me. In part, it's because I have no doubt that had this term been bandied around when I was a kid, my own parents would have happily diagnosed me and proceeded to medicate me into mediocrity ("better living through chemistry" was sort of a mantra in our household). Fortunately for me, when I was a kid we didn't throw pharmaceuticals at every behavioral problem, so instead of getting drugged, I was put into classes for advanced students, where I began to flourish.
Now I know that every parent has a blind spot when this sort of thing comes up. I know that we don't want to believe that anything is wrong with out children. So I am wary about the idea that maybe she's advanced instead of having some disorder. But when I look at how she becomes distracted, it just feels so damned familiar. She over thinks things. When she's given a task, she start brainstorming new ways to accomplish it, almost always over complicating things to the point of being ridiculous, but the sheer creativity involved is amazing. I have a hard time even considering that as something it would be beneficial to quash with a pill.
Also, I don't want to sound offhand about people who really do have ADHD. As someone who used to fight with depression, and at time still does, I can tell you that nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn't know what you're going through telling you that it's all in your head. I'm lucky that I was able to control mine without medical assistance, but I can still feel it there, creeping around the edges of my mind. I know that if I'm not careful and vigilant, my natural tendency will always spin everything in a negative light. I also know that isn't the person that I am - it's something that's off. So to those who really have these issues, I sympathize.
Nonetheless, we will take on our daughter's behavior as something that just requires a little work. We're establishing routines. We're giving her more attention now that other things in our lives are finally settling down. I accept that I'm biased, but I know she'll be fine, and given the right guidance, something that didn't happen for me until it was too late, I think she could really blow everyone out of the water.
Of course it doesn't hurt that she's the most amazing little girl that's ever existed in the entire history of mankind. Ever.
No comments:
Post a Comment