As Long As Someone Is Indignant, the System Still Works

Inauguration day was yesterday, and after a day of inspiring speeches, Fox news stepped in and did its job. Unfortunately, that job is going through every word spoken by every person associated with yesterday's events until they could find something to be offended by. Lucky for them, the good Reverend Joseph Lowery put forth the following bit of silliness:

We ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right.

Fox called him out for the supposed racist overtones, and chastised Obama for...I don't know. Not standing up, slapping him across the face, and declaring "How dare you sir" before stomping off in a huff I guess. Honestly, even if you do take offense at his words (and I'm thinking that's a stretch), I think it's a bit silly calling Obama out on it.

What they probably don't realize is how hard this sort of thing is. Even if you ignore the fact that he borrowed from the "If it's brown flush it down. If it's yellow, let it mellow" (a sentiment I've never been comfortable with, particularly during asparagus season), it's truly difficult to come up with these little rhymes. Fortunately, I managed to get a hold of several versions he decided not to use, just to give you a taste:

We ask you to help us work for that day when ...

...black packs much back (dropped due to copyright issue with Sir Mix-a-lot)

...yellow shares the Jello (dropped after realizing that not all Chinese bogart Jello, despite the practices of that guy who eats it all at the church pot lucks)

...white makes their butts un-tight (dropped for obvious reasons)

...latino can pass on the Beano (don't ask - there was an incident involving the rectory)

...a women, late, won't feel the need to tailgate (dropped after a terse conversation with his wife)

...strippers won't rely on tippers (dropped for the same reason)

...a heimy gent will share a dime unspent (dropped at Jessie Jackson's suggestion)

You get the idea. There were more, but this is all I could get a hold of (and mark my words, many Bothans dies to get us this information). Putting together little rhymes based on some arbitrary aspect of a persons life is no small task. I guess he did the best he could, and either way, I'm not sure faulting Obama for it is entirely reasonable.

Keep your collective chins up though, Fox News flk...I'm sure Biden will come through for you eventually.