In My Defence, the Shiny Blue Vest and Bow Tie Were Forced On Me

I have, in my time, received a fair number of what I consider backhanded compliments. You know...it's like a compliment, but some part of the way it is framed actually prevents it from being complimentary. My memory being what it is, I don't recall most of these, but one from a girl in high school has always stood out in my mind as a crowning achievement in backhanded compliments.

"You're so nice you must be gay."

This was not the first time someone had suggested I was gay in school, and each time it surprised me. I had never expressed any kind of interest in another fella, so I wasn't sure where this was coming from. To be honest, I wasn't even that nice. I think the above statement was more of a way to try and politely test me for gayness (remember kids, this was years before gaydar was perfected).

Oh sure, I was in musicals. I liked to dance. I wore rainbow, tie dyed pants.

Wait, what?

Only recently did I recall this last bit. In high school, I would shop out of this catalog where they sold...unusual clothing. Most of it was reasonably classy, but at some point I got the idea in my head that it was acceptable to buy a pair of white denim pants that had been tie dyed with bright bands of varying colors. I'm talking a full rainbow of trousers. Bright colors too. I'm pretty sure I was visible from space.

Now I'm not saying that this alone would cause someone to question my orientation, but I have to be honest with myself. Today I would no more consider the idea of wearing rainbow pantaloons than I would consider going out in my briefs and chaps and marching in a parade. Frankly, if I saw someone wearing these pants, there is a fine chance that I would promptly make an assumption about their extra-curricular studies, if you catch my meaning.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So, yeah, given a short pondering of my high school days (an activity I actively avoid to be honest with you all), I realize that maybe I was sending some signals that I had not intended to. Interestingly, only girls ever made this assumption about me, i.e. not one guy ever approached me and asked if I was gay. To this day, I'm not sure whether this is offensive or not.

After all, just because you don't want to go to a party, it's still nice to recieve an invitation.