If Cheney Had Ever Been President, The Sales Of These Would Have Been Legendary

My lovely wife went on a business trip this week to Washington D.C., and when she returned she came bearing gifts. The Princess scored a t-shirt, the Moose a snow globe (which he must enjoy because he has yet to try and throw it). As for myself, I got one of the strangest gifts I've ever received.

I got a Barack-In-A-Box.

This is exactly what it sounds like - a Jack-in-the-box where someone has replaced Jack with an effigy of our current President. You turn the knob, it plays "Hail to The Chief", and then out pops Barack. We were almost late to school today due to the meltdown of the Moose when I finally pried it from his hands and insisted he eat breakfast.

It fascinates me for a lot of reasons, the first being something that I'm not sure I've ever shared with anyone. I'm %#$@ing terrified of these things. For whatever reason, I hate being startled. This is why I shudder a bit each time one of my kids asks me to turn the knob on one of these things for them. This one is at least consistent in that it pops at the end of the song. The random ones are just mean. I guess I harbor a resentment against any toy that involves the threat of causing me to pee a little.

The other thing that intrigues me is the historical aspect of it. Not because it's Obama. I actually tried to order a Bush-In-The-Box one time online, but what they sent me wasn't what I was expecting. (I suppose I should have suspected something, but I figured the offer of free lube was to keep the little gears clean.) Anyway, it suddenly struck me that my kids, and my kids kids, would be aware of this person. While most of us go through our travels on this Earth and then leave mostly unannounced, this man will be a longstanding part of our History. Looking at my wife's pictures of Washington D.C. made me want to visit there for the same reason - to experience a place that has such a hold on our past and our future.

Of course some people might make the mistake of allowing such a revelation to make themselves feel insignificant. After all, I'm sure most of us like to think that our deeds will live on after we're gone. It's probably why so many people put pressure on their children to do well - those kids are possible the only lasting evidence of their time here.

I don't bother myself with such things, but then I remain confident that eventually the Pulitzer people will stumble upon my work here, thus ensuring my everlasting fame.