Assuming the Intelligence/Deliciousness Correlation Holds True, Of Course

This morning, in an effort to not appear as dead to the world as I really am, I made the first of many treks to the office coffee machine. In passing through the dining area, I came across what would ordinarily not even register. In my exhausted state, however, it caught my imagination to the point where I actually felt the need to take the following picture:



Now I've noted my fascination with the idea that office folk will eat any baked goods set before them without question. Never before, however, have I stumbled across found food that sparked my imagination like this. All sort of questions surround this mystery melon.

For starters, did the forsaker of the fruit start out with the intention of doing so? I personally am of the ilk that when I begin eating something, I do so with the intention of completing the job. You won't find a half eaten apple or a partial bag of chips at my desk. If I start it, you can be damned sure I'm going to finish it. That's just how I roll. So I personally would never start a food with the intention of leaving half of it to office vultures.

Still, it's hard for me to imagine the alternative. I mean, who sits down to a melon and, after finishing half of it, looks at the remainder and thinks to themselves, "Man, that was good, but I just don't know if I can eat another half." I mean, it's a melon for Pete's sake. You eat melon in units of chunks or slices (or, if it's something you're comfortable with, balls, although I personally cannot hear someone say "melon baller" without giggling like a schoolgirl). Unless you find yourself lost in the jungle and devoid of sustenance, it is not, of itself, a proper serving size.

Anyway, I left it where I found it, resisting the urge to take a big bite out of it first (my urges get weirder and sillier as sleep is reduced). A little later I discovered that someone had divided it into proper units (chucks), which I could see being a little more tempting. Having brought in my own fruit for lunch, I still just walked by, as coffee is much more effective than melon for staying awake at one's desk.

If it had been half a cake, however, I'd of been on that like zombies on Stephen Hawking.