The Shopping List As Performance Art

A conversation on Facebook has awakened a new creative outlet in me. I have decided that my new favorite activity is coming up with shopping lists for our local superstore (Meijer, in my case) that are designed to invoke a narrative for the poor cashier who would otherwise have nothing notable to talk about his or her day besides screaming toddlers and furious debates over the price of Spam. The key here is that I know for certain I can get each of these items in the same store. As such, I present to you the first of these lists:

• 1.75 Liter Cheap Whiskey


• Machete


• Party hats


• Tampons


• Duct tape


• The Best of Tiny Tim CD (If they don't have that, anything by Abba will do.)


• Rubber hose (Good catch, Adam. I would have forgotten this one.)


• You-Mix Concrete

I like this list especially because in my case I follow up by asking the cashier if the industrial building up the road was still abandoned. Nice.