Just One More Reason To Be Grateful For My Flowing Tresses

There are terrific opportunities to discuss current event today. Paula "Butter Face" Deen being in a pickle over racially insensitive comments (see what I did there?). A man, psychotic while pumped full of magic mushrooms, pulling off part of his own junk (although to be fair, his religion is not mentioned, so he may have just thought he found another mushroom). Miley Cyrus being...well, Miley Cyrus.

Instead, however, I will share one of those deeply personal glimpses into my own weirdness, as I have heard that sort of thing is good for a person.

Today, as I dropped my son off at summer camp (which is what they call day care in the summer), one of his teachers said "So, you'll be joining us for our zoo trip?" (my tagging along on zoo trips being an established thing, despite any promiscuous primate behavior). As one might expect, I responded "yes".

And here's where things get strange. As the word "yes" left my mouth, the following narrative blew through my brain in an effort to reach my lips:

I know that they're safe and all, but I'm always a little concerned when the kids are at the zoo. See, my father died in a accident at a zoo. Torn apart, right before our eyes, after falling into the monkey enclosure. Mom warned him not to climb up on the edge and taunt the monkeys like that, but my dad...he'd do anything to make us kids laugh, and he'd already rented the banana suit. Unfortunately, he lost his footing and...well anyways, I just like to go along and make sure everyone is being safe.

Seriously, all of that, in the space of the word "yes". I honestly think it might have gotten out save for the fact that my son, who is aware of the fact that my father is dead, was standing right there and would probably have been irreparably harmed, or at least left with an unnatural fear of monkeys. As such, I managed to stifle the flow, much to the benefit of us all.

Besides, everyone knows that dad was one of thousands who died in the collapse of a building caused by one super-powered alien punching a second super-powered alien through the walls, a fact that would probably lead to a compelling villain backstory in someone more fallicularly-challenged than myself.