Ah science, how you amuse me. Someone actually took the time to set up, test, and then write about whether double dipping is dangerous. It has now been scientifically confirmed that dipping a chip, taking a bite, and then redipping the chip will in fact spread germs. Thanks for clearing that up. I suppose at least they specified a chip, as the question "Is it okay to double dip?" has for me always been answered with "I suppose that depends what your dipping in there in the first place".
I'll give you all a moment to savor whatever visual that brought up for you.
I would say instead of wasting the money on what is obviously a dangerous practice that should be punishable by the immediate loss of all dipping privileges, we should be going after the people who have been teaching this heinous habit since 1942. That's right Wonka, I'm looking at you, you and the infamous Fun Dip.
Seriously, if you're a grown up who doesn't find this concept disgusting, you haven't seen a kid eat once of these lately. I remember, as I'm sure a few of you do, as a child they were awesome. Then I saw my daughter eat a package. She takes a sugar stick that looks like a giant tab of aspirin and dips it into a pocket of colored sugar. Then she licks all of the sugar off the stick.
And then she does it again. And again.
Within moments, the previous contents of the pocket are reduced to saliva based clumps of sugary nastiness. To make matters worse, she eventually gets tired of it and tries to put it away for later, an effort I have thus far managed to thwart, as that takes something that is already nasty and makes it worse. We're talking Paris Hilton nasty here.
So, this nefarious Wonka fellow is training kids that repeated dipping is not only acceptable, but encouraged. Why we have tolerated this for so long I can not understand. Maybe it's all the good Wonka has done, what with the Nerds and Everlasting Gobstopper technology he's introduced. But these comestible contributions don't make up for brainwashing kids into thinking that this practice should be tolerated.
Besides, let's look at the big picture here. Wonka has a mysterious set up, full of what amounts to slave labor. Even if you contend that the Oompa Loompas are there voluntarily, at least acknowledge that his empire looks suspiciously like that of an evil overlord. Oh sure, he's headquartered in a factory as opposed to a hollowed out volcanic island, but that's a minor detail. He's somewhere out there, probably within our own borders, with hundreds, nay thousands of tiny,fanatical followers, and we're just going to look the other way?
I say that we can not! We must unite to put an end to this effrontery. Stand together with me now, people. Turn away from your SweetTarts. Lay down that Laffy Taffy. Don't stop to read the joke - just drop it! Put back that package of Bottle Caps and say "No more". Until Fun Dip is removed from the shelves, we will no longer support Wonka and his evil (albeit vertically challenged) army. (Those who can not stop eating Pixie Stix will be excused, given the well known addictive qualities of said confection.)
I look forward to hearing from homeland security on how they plan to deal with the threat that Wonka poses to our nation. Also, should the good people of Hershey's wish to support my efforts with contributions (either in the form of funding or chocolate), I will greet them enthusiastically.
That's right Wonka, your reign is coming to an end, and unlike your delicious river of chocolate, these colors don't run!
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