And Don't Ask About A Through W.

At some point in my mid twenties, I was branded. I don't mean that someone took a hot piece of metal and used it imprint their mark upon my hiney (and if I did, I certainly wouldn't be telling you all about it). No, I mean some freak in a marketing department decided that they needed a way to refer to people my age without actually acknowledging that we were anything more than a demographic, thus allowing them to remove any humanity we had in their eyes.

Thus, Generation X was born.

Actually, Generation X was originally the title of a book about teenagers in the sixties. Unfortunately, someone in the nineties caught wind of the expression and, since we were just getting started with the habit of putting the label "extreme" on everything from sports to snack chips, it seemed fitting to pin an X to an entire generation. Think of it - an entire population of people born between 1965 and 1982 that would be totally "extreme". To the max. Or something.

It took a while for it to sink in that when people on the nightly news referred to Generation X (or worse, "Gen X"), that it was my people they were talking about. There was no questionnaire or anything to see if I qualified. No one asked if I distrusted government, used the internet, or felt apathetic towards politics in America. They didn't even ask if I listened to Nirvana or Pearl Jam. Nope, one day I woke up, and there it was - I was part of Generation X.

I do try to look at the bright side of things, however. "Generation X", as a title, sucks less than a lot of other generational titles. "Baby Boomer" is something my son does to his diaper that makes me leave the room. "Generation Y" is just a derivative of "Generation X", and sounds not nearly as cool. And seriously, "Millennials"? What is that, something you plant and hope it comes up nice in 1000 &$%#ing years?

So there you go. I guess all in all, it's not so bad being pinned with the label Generation X. There are a lot worse labels a person can be pinned with, like "pundit" or "lawyer" or "Jack Thomson".

Ooh, that last one gave me a chill.