Now In Living, Breathing 3-D!

The Moose loves to throw things. If he can reach it, he will pluck it up, smile with glee, and hurl it with great force as far as he can. For someone who not quite two years old, "as far as he can" is a greater distance than you might think. It is for this reason that I found myself at the optometrist this week, picking up my now repaired eye glasses.

Now, the theory is that just the frames were broken. I was told that they would send them to the frame manufacturer, who would fix up the frames, and send them back. The key thing to note here is that, according to this process, nothing should have changed with my prescription.

When I put my restores glasses on after three weeks of wearing an old pair, things seemed distorted. It's kind of hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had any experience with hallucinogenic drugs, but everything seemed to be shifting all the time. Naturally, I put my old glasses back on to drive back to work, but since then, I've worn my new ones. The shifting has settled, but hasn't entirely gone away - occasionally, when I move my head, walls and floors look to be angled somehow wrong.

Even weirder than this (which adds a bit of surrealism to my day that I have thus far been enjoying), I have gained an odd version of 3-D vision. You know how occasionally you'll look at a flat picture, and if the foreground is the right shade of red and the background is the right shade of blue, the former will seem to float above the latter? Well that's happening to me, but for really odd things.

As an example, at work I have adorned my cubicle walls with the manuals, covers, and sometimes even discs of various games I have enjoyed in the past. One of the wierder games I played was Total Distortion, a game centered around traveling to another dimension to take footage that was then used to make and sell music videos back home. No, seriously, that's what the game was about. Anyway, this is the cover on my wall:



Now, with my glasses off, this just looks like a weird guy with red hair and a guitar warrior getting his rock on - so, nothing unusual. I put my glasses on, and I swear that it practically swims in three dimensional goodness. It's really hard to describe how disorienting this is. I read todays Penny Arcade (which won't be funny to anyone not following Jack Thompson's current shenanigans), and the black bubbles float above the images, and the red text pops out a mile above that. As Keanu put it so well, "Whoa".

Thus far, the new visual oddities are minor and don't seem to be doing any damage, so I've not returned to the optometrist with a "WTF?". I can only assume that my glasses were exposed to some odd form of radiation, and that, given time, more awesome powers will develop. Maybe, just maybe, I'll finally have those x-ray specs I was promised by my comic books so many years ago.

Sweet!