Last night, a question arose that was close to my heart. Why do we eat when we know we shouldn't, and more specifically, why, at those times, do we eat things that are awful for us? It's a strange habit that under certain conditions, I find myself longing for certain foods, even though I know that said foods are garbage.
For some people it's baked goods. Others have to have a chocolate fix. For me, it's actually a combination of foods - chips and soda pop. When under a lot of stress, exhaustion, or even when I'm just feeling blue, I find myself inexorably drawn to the local gas station, where I purchase myself a bag of chips, preferably of a variety that will burn (Jalapeno or Flaming Hot Cheetos for example), and a gallon drum of soda pop. I come back to my desk, I consume, and things are somehow better.
Now of course the respite is momentary, but I don't think that matters. I think I do it because as I get older, my life has gotten more complex. In particular, I frequently find myself straining just to meet the needs of others, be they children or my workplace or whatever. As a result, long periods of time go by where I simply don't do anything for myself, not because I'm neglecting myself, but because I'm just busy.
Taking a moment to enjoy some small treat, however, takes almost no time at all. I can do it while I'm working. It doesn't take away from anyone else. Most importantly, it's mine. It's something that's happening for no reason other than I want it, and it makes me a happy, if only for the time it takes to consume it. There's power in that, in the fact that this decision is totally within my control.
Of course this doesn't speak to why it almost always has to be something in the junk food category, but honestly I think it's the same reason. Nearly everything we do as adults is built around responsibility. As a parent, this is amplified tremendously, every action turning into a potential blueprint for my offspring's life long behavior. As such, when I feel the need to break down and do something just for me, just for the moment of pleasure, it seems that it has to have that element of naughtiness to it. It has to smack of irresponsibility. If it were carrot sticks, somehow I doubt I would achieve the same relief.
Now I realize that this moment of pleasure is not a solution to anything, but not everything has to be. Sometimes the things that stress us out are necessary, and just need to be worked through. Eventually, calm will return. So long as our little indulgences don't become a matter of habit, so what if we occasionally break down and treat ourselves to something decadent?
Responsibility is all well and good, but I'm thinking that a life lacking in a little decadence would be a drab one indeed.
For some people it's baked goods. Others have to have a chocolate fix. For me, it's actually a combination of foods - chips and soda pop. When under a lot of stress, exhaustion, or even when I'm just feeling blue, I find myself inexorably drawn to the local gas station, where I purchase myself a bag of chips, preferably of a variety that will burn (Jalapeno or Flaming Hot Cheetos for example), and a gallon drum of soda pop. I come back to my desk, I consume, and things are somehow better.
Now of course the respite is momentary, but I don't think that matters. I think I do it because as I get older, my life has gotten more complex. In particular, I frequently find myself straining just to meet the needs of others, be they children or my workplace or whatever. As a result, long periods of time go by where I simply don't do anything for myself, not because I'm neglecting myself, but because I'm just busy.
Taking a moment to enjoy some small treat, however, takes almost no time at all. I can do it while I'm working. It doesn't take away from anyone else. Most importantly, it's mine. It's something that's happening for no reason other than I want it, and it makes me a happy, if only for the time it takes to consume it. There's power in that, in the fact that this decision is totally within my control.
Of course this doesn't speak to why it almost always has to be something in the junk food category, but honestly I think it's the same reason. Nearly everything we do as adults is built around responsibility. As a parent, this is amplified tremendously, every action turning into a potential blueprint for my offspring's life long behavior. As such, when I feel the need to break down and do something just for me, just for the moment of pleasure, it seems that it has to have that element of naughtiness to it. It has to smack of irresponsibility. If it were carrot sticks, somehow I doubt I would achieve the same relief.
Now I realize that this moment of pleasure is not a solution to anything, but not everything has to be. Sometimes the things that stress us out are necessary, and just need to be worked through. Eventually, calm will return. So long as our little indulgences don't become a matter of habit, so what if we occasionally break down and treat ourselves to something decadent?
Responsibility is all well and good, but I'm thinking that a life lacking in a little decadence would be a drab one indeed.
1 comment:
Reward yourself with some time for yourself. Renew, replenish, refill, find recreation...then you'll have more to give others. You sound like you're running out of gas. You need a "fill-up" of time for yourself.
Love,
M-I-L
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