Well, That and I Prefer Pepsi

There comes in every marriage a topic that, no matter the effort, a husband and wife must simply disagree upon. No amount of reasoning or debate will sway one or the other from their positions. Dislike it though I might, I have identified this debate between me and my lovely wife, and, failing to sway her, must turn to you, gentle readers, in the hopes that you will be more open to logic and sensibility.

The proper term for soft drinks, as you saw me use a couple of days ago, is "soda pop".

Now, let me lay out for you why this is the most correct term. For starters, I point to the map below (click for a larger view):



As you can see, the vast majority if the Unites States prefers the term "pop" when referring to soft drinks (the blue segment of the map). This is the segment my lovely wife falls into. Now, I don't ordinarily consider her to be one of those people who blindly follows the majority, so I suppose I have to blame her upbringing for not making her more understanding of the needs of others. This is ironic, as I have heard tales of her own extended family visiting when she was young and being shunned by close minded individuals who choose not to recognize that not everyone has been raised with the same set of terminology around them.

There is a smaller, yellow segment who uses the term "soda". This term is historically rooted in the soda fountain, where nice young men in paper hats would combine soda water with flavorings to produce what was the original version of soft drinks. Thus, while this term may be viewed as archaic by some, it is historically correct and should not be ignored.

This is why I advocate the term "soda pop". Wherever I am in the country, people know what I'm referring to. It's a simple term that breaches this controversy, and I think that's important. We already disagree too much over too many things. Why not try to be amenable to as many as possible, and thus avoid offense to anyone where we can.

Hmm? The red areas? Well, that's kind of pesky. You see, while I do advocate the support of others in their carbonated beverage terminology choices, I'm afraid that this is an exception. See, it's a thing called a genericised trademark. Basically, using the term "coke" to refer to any variety of soda pop takes away from the brand recognition and intellectual properties of the good people at Coca-Cola. So while I support most people's choices, I'm afraid that the red areas have followed a path that leads to damaging a company's good name, and I can't get behind that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get some aspirin and band aids to deal with the fallout of my decision to try and roller blade down an escalator while holding a large tray of jello.