Hillary Would Have Made This So Much Easier

So, Lindsay Lohan, being a beacon for all things awkward lately, is now being jumped all over for referring to Obama as the the "first colored president". Apparently, this particular form of lingo is considered archaic amongst the Hollywood hipsters. Here's the funny thing about it though - what would you say?

I was trying to discuss this with the Princess that day after the election, and I asked her if she knew what it meant to say that someone was "African American". She responded that it was probably someone who spent half their time in Africa, and the other half in America. I paused, thought about it, and promptly abandoned the conversation at that point, realizing that my daughter (correctly) doesn't give a %#@$ what color someone's skin is, and doesn't even really think about it at all. I mean, her answer makes as much sense as anything else, and it's not what I meant at all.

All my life I've actually dealt with this issue. I know it sounds silly, but dammit, I have no idea what terminology is correct when referring to...what? Black people? People of color? African Americans? Have I now offended somebody? It's weird, especially in light of the fact that I'm really not racist in any meaningful way. (Note: I avoid saying outright that I am not racist, not because I believe that one race is superior than another, but because to simply say "I'm not racist" is a bit of a fallacy - as Avenue Q put it "Everyone's a little bit racist".)

Anyway, it's one of those things that actually causes me to avoid discussions where I have to refer to anyone of a specific ethnicity that cannot be directly referred to by country. This gives me the freedom to talk about Mexicans and Canadians for example, which is nice, although I don't have much to say on either subject. I can't refer to my own ethnicity, because, despite the appearance of being the standard white guy, I'm actually an American mutt, with blood that's known to be English, Scottish, Mexican, and a little touch of Macaque (great great great great grandpa was apparently a bit of a freak - let's not talk about that).



So yeah, while I question Lohan's choice of words, I can't judge her as quickly as so many others seem to be. It's an awkward thing to talk about, and it seems there are always people lurking about who are just dying to be offended by something. Maybe we can all get together and get legislation signed that tells us what the proper terminology is. Then, if someone's offended, we can just point them to that, and say something like, "Hey, I don't like it either, but it's the law".

Gods, I shudder to think how we're going to deal with the first albino, hermaphroditic, midget President - the politically correct contingency will implode under the strain.