Dude, Do You Smell Something?

I have, in the past, discussed my admiration for the art form of bathroom graffiti, but I did not really discuss the more generic graffiti. Frankly, I usually just find it distracting. There are exceptions for those marks that seem truly inspired, such as the works of Banksy, but then there are those acts that are just vandalism, lacking any creativity or artistic merit.

An example of the latter case used to puzzle me frequently at my last job. I used to work in a building in a smallish city, and when you walked directly downtown, as I often did to lunch with my lovely wife, you would be driven past a power box that had scrawled across it a declaration that I would personally not like associated with me. In permanent black marker, someone had scrawled the following message:

"Wayne smells like potty."

Often I would walk by this public announcement of Wayne's particular aroma and wonder things. Does Wayne know this is here? If so, why has he not scribbled it out, or at least defended his honor with a "Do not" or "I'm a veterinarian, what do you expect?"? Mostly, I would wonder what would drive a person to make such a statement, particularly because it was written with a clarity and at such a height as to suggest that this was the work of an adult. Was it anger driven, written by someone who could no longer stand being in Wayne's presence due to the overwhelming stench of ammonia that surrounded him? Was it a prank meant to get a rise out of poor Wayne?

Why the hell would you write that in permanent marker upon a public utility box?

Of course, this will prove to be one of those mysteries that remains unsolved as, unlike Jenny (another person whose fame was probably undesired), no number was included in this particular declaration. Never will I know what fate befell Wayne and his detractor. Hopefully, they worked things out through love, understanding and judicious use of deodorant and laundry detergent.

On a side note, should anyone have an issue with me, I would prefer they take it up with me directly in a less public forum, like the internet.