No Shot at the Money

At long last the true victims of the current recession have come forth, pleading for funding. That's right folks, Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis are currently approaching Washington D.C. about a five billion dollar bailout for the apparently faltering porn industry. Yes, the sales of XXX DVDs are apparently down 22 percent, and dammit, people are hurting out there.

Now far be it from me to mock the financial troubles of others (he said, knowing perfectly well that's what he was about to do), but come on. A porn bailout? I wasn't thrilled with any of the other bailouts provided thus far, but this is truly bold, particularly for Mr. Francis, who so far as I can tell spends most of his budget on cheap alcohol and t-shirts, what with youthful naivete being free. (I'm going by the commercials that run at night here, having never actually felt the need to watch a Girls Gone Wild video.)

So what exactly is the argument here? Does the porn industry actually employ enough people to make a difference in the national economy? Beyond the crew and the stars, who would be benefiting from this? Camera suppliers? Plastic surgeons? Video rental stores? Animal wranglers?

What really strikes me as notable here is that the porn industry was the first real victim of the internet age. This brings up the question of how long before the RIAA requests a bailout, another industry that seems to be too slow to adapt to new business models built around, oh I don't know, people getting their products however the &#%$ they want to. Maybe they know better than to ask, but if anyone thinks that the government is going to cut these two a check they need a serious reality check. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that they're going to have trouble drumming up support on Washington.