Okay, Maybe the Name Calling Was a Bit Much

Well, having received a tremendous amount of feedback from my last post (if you don't believe me, go ahead and read the two comments left there for yourself), I will proceed with our regularly schedule programming, sans changes of any kind. This means that I will talk about pretty much anything I want. Today I thought I would wrap up a holiday thought that's been rumbling around in my brain for awhile now.

So, we're all familiar with the whole Rudolph legend, right? Freaky reindeer has a glowing nose. Glowing nose naturally leads to ridicule from other reindeer, until global warming causes Christmas Eve to be foggy rather than snowy one year (reindeer have a huge carbon footprint, so it was bound to happen), and the new guy's illuminated proboscis proves more useful than previously considered, and he's a big hero guy. Great.

Here's the thing about that story. A big part of it is the vilifying of "all of the other reindeer", who are less than thrilled with hanging out with Rudolph and his glowing nose. These guys are made out to be the villians in the story, and I understand that poor Rudolph has no control over the situation, but stop and really think about this for a minute.

If I'm hanging out someplace, and a dude walks up with something glowing on his person, once I've established a lack of LEDs up his nose, I'm pretty much getting the hell away from him. Why? Well, lots of research (meaning video games and horror movies) have taught me that if somebody is glowing, there's a pretty good chance that person is radioactive. Playing reindeer games with radioactive folk is generally discouraged as a hobby. I'm pretty sure the surgeon general even put out a statement to that effect.

So yeah, I'm really not blaming the original eight for not wanting to expose themselves to that kind of thing. I'm all for tolerance of those with disabilities, but the risk of testicular cancer should not be included. I'm sure that someday Prancer would like to have little reindeer, not to mention that Santa is notorious for offering crummy health care, so the cost associated would sting a bit. Although I suppose for a reindeer with testicular cancer, the treatment would be under a buck.

Welcome to 2009, folks. Just because the year is new doesn't mean the jokes will be.