One Of the Many Reasons I Don't Carry Cash

Sitting at my desk, staring at a hunk of code for what seemed like way too long, I decided that it would be in my best interest to get up and wander. Even now that my cube has moved to a place where I have a nice window with a view, watching snow on a cornfield can only serve as so much of a distraction. My job, not unlike my heroic deeds and romantic conquests in high school, occurs mostly in my mind, and once in a while the engine needs a chance to cool off.

Now having any reasonable excuse to go and bother one of my cohorts, I decided to participate in one of my favorite office diversions - snack food window shopping. This is where I wander over to the kitchen area and peruse the comestibles being offered in the vending machines. Of course, I'm on a diet of sorts, and I almost never carry cash, so there is no chance I'm actually going to buy anything. Rather, it's more the sport of selecting the item I would be most likely to purchase were I so inclined.

My new digs find me on the other side of the wall from the main eating area here, so it was a short jaunt to the local machine. Unfortunately, it was full of uninspired treats, your standard Fritos being the pick of the crop. Everything else was non-vegetarian (Pop Tarts, Rice Krispy Treats and all Hostess offerings) or, well, kind of yucky (Taco Doritos, while not Quest Dorito bad, are not good either). Not finding anything interesting, I made my way to the next building to see if they were faring better.

Apparently, the vendors like the other building more than us, for the machine there included the sublime Jalapeno Cheddar Cheetos, which are currently my second favorite snack chip (Habenero Doritos surpassing them both in flavor and in burn). So, as usual, the pick of the day was between those and Cheez It crackers, which also rock. Should they decide to start offering Jalapeno Cheez Its, I may actually have to start carrying cash.

What's weird is that I have no idea why I do this, other than as an excuse to get up and walk around a bit. I mean, I don't really need the excuse, right? No one here cares where I'm going or what I'm on about, so long as the code is written on time. Still, I frequently find myself on the other side of the glass, admiring the brightly colored packages offering delectable tidbits promising to satisfy my current cravings, promises that I never give them a chance to fulfill.

In other news, apparently the longer I remain on a diet, the more colorful the anthropomorphism of junk food becomes. Should any of them begin to actually speak to me, I'll be sure to pass that information along to you fine folks, along with what we discussed and the accents affected. I can't be the only person in the world who assumes that the man on the Pringles can speaks with a clipped, British accent, right?

Yeah, maybe I better get back to the code - things are getting a little weird around here, even by my standards.