At Least I Never Say "Nana Nana Boo Boo". Well, Almost Never.

Yesterday, while washing my hands in the restroom at work, I stuck my tongue out at myself in the mirror. This is not entirely uncommon, as I have a vast repertoire of funny faces that are considered inappropriate in most settings, and I refuse to let these skills lag (I am going to be an uncle soon after all). Anyway, I'm standing there sticking my tongue out at myself, when it suddenly strikes me what a disturbing appendage a tongue really is.

Seriously, try this. Get thee to a mirror, and stick your tongue out at yourself. Now, and this is key, try and hold it still. You can't do it. Not really anyway. You can point it out and pick a direction, but at that point it's doing its own thing. Try as I might, it continues it endless quivering and pulsating, presumably probing for something to taste. (Sorry for the last sentence causing anyone Googling for erotica to accidentally end up here. If it makes you feel any better, I once Googled "Dorito feet" because it sounded funny, and ended reading one of the most disturbing bits of fiction to grace the internet. Let us speak of this no more.)

What's odd is that the tongue is clearly controlled by the somatic nervous system, as I can stick it out in the first place. Great. But why his odd pulsating, and why can't I stop it? Have you ever thought about this before? Probably not, and this is why you sleep better than I do at night. It's like my tongue has its own agenda. It will follow basic orders, but unlike my arms or legs, once is has done so it feels free to continue probing in search of who knows what. Probably ice cream.

So like I said, next time your in the restroom, try it. Stick your tongue out at yourself (preferably when there aren't coworkers about). Try to hold it still, and wonder at the fact that most likely you will only succeed for a second or two before your tongue gets bored and starts wandering around looking for something delicious in the immediate area.

Actually, between this advice and a previous conversation on warm seats, I'm well on my way to attaining the "blog you think about most often when in the restroom" achievement. Nice.