Someplace To Sit and Think While Plotting and Laughing Maniacally

We're talking about replacing our patio with something that's less...falling apart I guess. Our current patio is a homebrew not of our making, and while I like the style (big, flat stones), in its current form it's an ususable hazard. As such, we've talked to at least one person about suggestions for replacing it, and he said that what I should do is take out a couple of stones and start digging to see how far down the construction-type filler used to hold the stones in place goes to see if I could just rebuild it correctly. Then my lovely wife pointed out that during a previous discussion with a neighbor, it was revealed that there was once a concrete patio, and that there is a chance that the concrete one is still under there.

Unfortunately, these things got into my brain, as things tend to do, and I started wondering what else I might find as I dig this thing out. I've come up with the following list of things I hope I find when I start digging out my current patio:

• A dinosaur skeleton (those things sell for plenty)


• Aincient ruins (preferrably with a throne room, as I'm having trouble convincing my lovely wife that I need to add one onto the house)


• The Ark of the Covenant (I promise I won't open it)


• A missile silo (hopefully without deep crows)


• A nice underground lair that includes a fully outfitted laboratory (see throne room explanation above)


• A treasure chest full of swag (no swag means no grog, and we're getting...well, you know the rest)

Similarly, I've been forced to consider things I'd rather not find:

• That they only moved the headstones. THEY ONLY MOVED THE HEADSTONES!


• Oil (I don't need anyone invading my yard on a "peace keeping mission", thank you very much)


• Cheese


• That we have a backup septic system


• An underground entrance to anything not mentioned above (I simply don't have time for adventuring right now)


• An actual concrete patio that would have to be destroyed and removed

So there you have it. I know that the most likely scenario is that what I find will lead to the loss of more money, time, and effort on my part, but hey, you can't blame a guy for hoping. Maybe I'll let you know when I'm going to do it so you can combine your powers of hope to help me find what I want.

Come on underground lair!