I'm Calling Everyone To See Who Answers Fastest, And You Totally Won

So, the date of my becoming an uncle fast approaches. In fact, a doctor apparently predicted the there is a significant chance that the little lady will escape her current living quarters within the week. Having two children of my own, I know what this means for my brother-in-law, the father to be. He's sitting by the phone all day, jumping when it rings in anticipation of this being the call.

Naturally, it's everything I can do not to abuse this situation.

I don't recall ever having a reason to call him directly before. Oh sure, I could call him up with helpful advice, but I've kind of covered what he needs right now, so that's out. Still, I suddenly have all of these questions that I feel he is uniquely qualified to answer, and I don't think it's unreasonable to call and ask, right?

"Hi Nick. I was trying to remember - how many strings are there on a banjo? Huh. How about an upright base? I see. Okay, thanks."

"Hi Nick, it's me again. I forgot to ask before if we could order a cd of your band from somewhere yet."

"Sorry to interrupt again, but I figured you're an accountant so you'd know this one. Do I look for dividend information on my balance sheet or my statement of retained earnings?"

"Hey Nick. Boy, you sure are answering the phone quickly today. Anyway, I was hoping you could help me settle a debate online. Who would you say was the most talented of the Monkees?"



Fortunately for him, I am an upright individual who would not prey on another person's anxiety for my own amusement. No, I choose the more noble path of simply waiting with him, ready to lend any kind of support I can. Better to be helpful and take the high road, avoiding any kind of louche games that, while potentially amusing, might be hard on already strained nerves.

Well, that and I still really don't like talking on the phone.