DLOG Presents: Debate Tips

Once in a while, I like to offer a little bit of the wisdom I've gathered through the years on this site. I was recently reminded of my prowess where public debates are concerned, and have decided that you good people could benefit from my experience. So, without further ado, I present:

Dangerously Low On Grog's Debate Tips

• Always start by researching your topic well. Try to use encyclopedias, professional journals, or books on the subject. Avoid using less reputable information sources such a Wikipedia, your cousin Ray Ray, or Fox News.
  


• Never let the exchange devolve into personal attacks unless the attacks directly relate to the debate. (Who could forget the great Lincoln-Douglas "Does Stephan Douglas have the biggest damned head in the world?" debate in which Lincoln famously said "A house divided, not unlike Douglas buckling under the crippling weight of his ponderous cranium, cannot stand"?)
  
  


• Try and not fart. If you do fart, attempt to maintain composure. No one ever won a debate while hiding behind their note cards, red faced and giggling like an idiot.
  


• Stay on topic, addressing your opponents points in a direct and straightforward manner. If you find you cannot contend any point directly, shoryukun.
  
  


• Like any public speaking occasion, don't be afraid to use your whole body when presenting your case. This is especially true for debate, where a particularly important point can be emphasized by the all important "jazz hands".
  


• Gentlemen, remember that a debate is meant to be an exchanging of ideas. Do not set out to prove that you are the better man. As such, it is never considered an appropriate response to put it on the table and look at your opponent, saying, "You got anything to say about that? Yeah, I didn't think so". (Incidentally, this is what cost me a win during high school forensics. On the bright side, he really didn't have anything to say about it, so it was still a moral victory.)
  

Follow these tips, and you too can become a master debater like myself.