My Family, Now Brought To You By Tampax

Like a lot of people, I've been thinking of ways to bring in more money. I'm not hurting or anything, but a little extra cash is always welcome. Unfortunately, this is difficult because people like money, so no one wants to give me any of theirs, and I don't know anyone about to croak, so inheritance is out. Then I had a brilliant idea.

I can sell advertising on my car.

Seriously, people pay all kinds of money to pay for ads on race cars, and that's a total waste. First, they're all packed with ads, so you don't typically see any of them but the biggest ones. Second, all the cars are covered in ads, so it's not like your ad stands out. Add to that that a lot of people would rather eat their feet than watch cars turn left for hours on end, and you can see that this is not money well spent.

My car, on the other hand, drives all over the place. Well, in lower Michigan anyway. Okay, it's mostly just the school/work/grocery store route, but hey, that could be great for local shops. My car is a bright, attention getting red. I'm a law abiding citizen, so there's no risk of their store being associated with criminal activity. More importantly, I have almost no pride left, so I'm happy advertising any damned thing short of a strip club (sorry, but I drive kids around, and that's just not right). Add to that a built in attractive family just like on TV, and you've got a solid gold premise here.

So, if you're looking for a new and exciting way to get word out about your business, shoot me an email. We'll arrange terms, and next thing you know you'll have a traveling billboard like no one else. Just think of the word of mouth that will be generated at my job, the grocery store, and the local schools when I pull through with your business emblazoned on the side of my car.

Of course I should probably run all of this by my lovely wife first, but what are the odds that she would mind riding in a car that says "Mountain Dew" on the side?

UPDATE:
Holy cow, this is a real thing. I guess that's what I get for not researching before I post.