Those Days...They Were Golden

Okay, there's a piece on Kotaku right now on considering the ramifications on gamers of the fact that the iPad and the DSi XL are being released around the same time. This...this is wrong. As a gamer, I feel like I should say something about this, especially since I have access to the existing, miniature versions of both systems, the iPhone and the DS Lite.

Here's the thing: Nintendo owns the portable gaming world. I say this as someone who, if forced into choosing between my beloved PSP and my left foot, would prompty run out and pick out a nice peg. I've played a handful of DS games, and they are what one would expect - they are Nintendo games. They are Mario and Link and everything that I loved about playing video games as a kid, made pocket size. When I heard about the DSi XL, a DS for people with man-sized hands, I will happily confess that the plotting began that will make one of them mine. (Insert appropriate maniacal laughter here.)



My iPhone, on the other hand, is a very different thing. I love my iPhone. It's hard to think about getting by without it. It has become a second brain for me - keeping appointments, looking up facts, checking my email. It's a wonderful tool that has made me more productive by leaps and bounds.

And almost every game on it sucks.

Okay, that's a little unfair. There are some cute puzzle games, and of course Monkey Island and Wolfenstein 3-d worked amazingly well, but that's about it. Everything else falls into one of two categories: it's either something I've already played online in Flash, or it's a game that might be fun if I wasn't required to cover 20% of the screen with my %#$@ing thumbs to play it. Maybe other people don't mind this. People with tiny hands. Me being neither a midget or a carny, I ain't one of them.

My point is that I don't look at the iPad and think "gaming device". I think they look like fun and something that would be useful, an ideal kitchen device (I'm a geek - having a machine with wireless capabilities in the kitchen is no less reasonable than, say, a toaster). I would jump at the chance to get one if I had several hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket. As a gamer though, it's not even on my radar.

So yeah, I'm not sure where you're coming from on this one, Kotaku. These are two completely different markets. I'm guessing you just really wanted to talk about the iPad, and as a gaming magazine this is the only excuse you had.

I'm the same way with monkeys, zombies, and my illicit affair with Bea Arthur, so I totally feel you.