DLOG Presents: Earth Day Tips

It's Earth Day again, and instead of sitting around feeling bad about the fact that you still use a can of hairspray each day (dude, I'm telling you, the pompadour is coming back), take some actions. We'll even help. Here are some things you can do to help make a difference, or at least get off Al Gore's %#@$ list:

• Just for today, try not to slap any hippies.


• Use the space in your yard to build a habitat for local woodland creatures. Not only do they have a space to visit and thrive, but it affords you an opportunity to see them up close, making them much easier to shoot.


• Stop buying newspapers - all the news is available online. In addition to saving trees, people will stop talking about how incredibly old fashioned and out of touch you are, causing you to shake your cane at them in a threatening manner.


• Consider unique ways to bring more green plant life to your neighborhood. For instance, there's this kid in the neighborhood who grows all these big plants in his basement, and you can tell it makes him feel really good about himself. It's like that guy is always smiling.


• Showers can use as much as 10 to 25 gallons less water than a bath, and that's not even counting the water saved from using it as a urinal as well.


• Make sure to run full loads of laundry to conserve water. I've run loads so full that some of the clothes come out still dry, which also saves on the power to run the dryer.


• Instead of disposing table scraps down the drain or in a landfill, consider getting a composter. Not only will you get valuable fertilizer for your garden, but many modern composters are large enough to house an entire body. I've heard.


• Don't limit your recycling efforts to the standard plastic jugs and water bottles. Think outside the box and be creative. For example: toilet paper Rorschach tests.

Remember, only you can make the changes needed to save our planet. Unless someone else does instead I guess. Whatever.