Side Note: Body Pillows Do Not Contain Actual Bodies

Those of you who either have kids or appreciate some of the better cartoon programs currently available (or both, as is my case) have undoubtedly noticed a disturbing trend. The rest of you should probably be warned: the pillow situation has officially gotten out of hand. While the majority of us think of our pillows as a device for resting our head, dark forces have been convincing our children that this is simply insufficient.

It started innocently enough with the Pillow Pet. It's a stuffed animal that fold out into a pillow. This seemed reasonable, and I'm not ashamed to admit that at least three of these things have found their way into my home, despite the lack of flying squirrel options available (seriously you guys, get the Rocky and Bullwinkle people on the phone - you are passing up a real opportunity here).

But alas, this was not enough. No, someone said "Hey, kids love pillow pets! What if we took a pillow pet, and put a nightlight inside of it?". It is a testament to the nefariousness of the creators that not one person in the room pointed out that putting an electrical device inside an object associated with being drooled upon might be a bad idea. And so was born the Dream Lites.

Dream Lites, they lack a certain subtlety though. Another bright young thing in the room asks the inevitable question. "Those are cool, but what if the pillow itself glowed from within as if it had recently been irradiated?" Ladies and gentlemen: Glow Pets.

Now, at this point the poor parent whose children frequent Nickelodeon or the Cartoon Network has bedrooms overflowing with pillows that perform a wide array of un-pillowlike functions. Of course, the kids have no problem with this, but the clutter becomes a bit much. What can we do, now, with these ridiculous products?

Congratulations, Stuffies. You've managed to give me a better reason to make sure the television is off than Honey Boo Boo.