Or Maybe It's a Hobbit - I Just Can't Tell

It feels like I should be talking about politics here, right? I mean, everyone else in the country is. Why not me? Because I'm kind of tired of it. I'm sure I'll go back to it tomorrow, but for today, we'll deal with something silly, which to my mind is more of what we need right now.

So, I live in a nice subdivision, and one of the things that comes with is extra signs along the roads reminding people that little kids play there, and they should slow down lest the run over one of them. I remember being impressed with these signs when I first looked at houses in this area. Well, now that I live here, we have one of these signs right next to our house, which is cool, but I get a better look at it now, and frankly, I'm not sure that I approve as much as before. Here's the sign in question:



Nice sentiment and all, I just have one question: what the #%$@ is that supposed to be a drawing of? I mean, it sort of looks like a kid, but what the hell is going on with its head? And if it's not a kid, then just what it is it?

Now, assuming that the text is accurate, that we are out to protect the "little people", I have a couple of theories. The first - my new home town is also home of the lollipop guild. You know what I'm talking about. The three tough looking Munchkins who came out and sang to Dorothy - those guys. I'm thinking one of them (the actors, obviously) got tired of the Hollywood lifestyle - the women, the parties, all that rot, so they resettled out here. Because of their celebrity status, the community wanted to make sure they were safe, so up went the signs.



This is, of course, not the only possibility, but the alternative is something I would rather not face. You guys know me by now. I try to be tolerant of all people, but there are some who I have a history with. Do I think that they deserve less protection? No, of course not. I'm just saying that given my history, I'm not sure that I want them living in my neighborhood. Still, look at the picture above, and compare it with the following photographic evidence:



If I find this to be the case, I'll do my best to turn the other cheek. I'll smile politely if I see one walking by. I'll compliment him on his lawn, and then stand around for five minutes while he sings his little song about how I should be edging my lawn propertly, waiting patiently for the "oompadee doo" letting me know he's finished. Whatever.

Mark my words though - the day one of them shows up to pick my daughter up for a date is the day we move.