Dora. Pawnshop. Crackhouse. Again!

Since I spend most of my time with one or more kid, I get to see lots of educational television. I don't mean the good stuff like Mythbusters or The History of Sex on the history channel (which I actually saw a lot of - the ancient Egyptians put out enough hieroglyphic porn to fuel two Internets). No, I get the crowd from Sesame Street, library lions, and a little Hispanic girl, which is where I noticed an interesting thing.

Most episodes of Dora the Explorer involve Swiper. Swiper is a fox who shows up to...well, swipe. If Dora and her entourage manage to say "Swiper, no swiping" three times, Swiper is forced to run off. One would guess he suffers from the same psychological impediment as Mustafa from Austin Powers.

Anyway, if they don't manage to say it three times, Swiper takes whatever they have at the moment, but he doesn't run off with it as you might expect from a criminal. No, he just throws it into the distance, laughs and declares "You'll never find it now" before vanishing from the scene. This is exactly where they lose me. He doesn't actually steal anything, he just takes it and makes it hard for Dora and friends to get it back. Just once, instead of Dora asking for help finding the lost loot, I want her to call him out on it.

Swiper throws (object of day).
Swiper: Heh-heh-heh. You'll never find it now.
Dora: Wait, so you're just going to throw it away?
Swiper: Yeah, and you'll never find it.
Dora: So you didn't need it or anything?
Swiper: Uh...no, I guess not.
Dora: You're not, like, starving, and need to sell it for food?
Swiper: Well...I...no. No, I just felt like slowing you guys down I guess. And you'll never...
Dora: (Interrupting) Yeah, we'll never find it now. Got that, thanks. So, you just showed up here to take the stuff that we need and hide it, even though you clearly didn't need it yourself, and seem to gain nothing from the experience other than %#^$ing up our day. Do I have that about right?
Swiper: (Clearly uncomfortable now) Well I didn't mean to ruin your day or...I just thought it would be fun, like a game. You know, hide and seek or something.
Dora: Yeah, we're kind of in the middle of something right now, which I think you knew, didn't you?
Swiper: (Hands behind back fidgeting with his tail while looking down at his feet) Yeah, I suppose I did.
Dora: And you just show up, take our stuff, and then toss it in a tree. For no reason. Do I have that right?
Swiper: (Quietly, starting to cry a little) Yes.
Dora: I SAID DO I HAVE THAT RIGHT!
Swiper: (Sobbing loudly) Yes, yes.
Dora: Good. I'm glad we've gotten that out of the way. Swiper?
Swiper: What?
Dora: You're an %#$hole.

Now I know, it's a kids show. I'm over thinking the whole thing. In my defense though, you can only watch it so many times before you start to wonder just what Swiper's %#$@ing problem is. If you're going to steal, at least pawn it off, maybe buy a pair of pants to match your Zorro mask and little gloves. Is it too much to ask that the character have some motivation?

Maybe a crack problem?