I recently received yet another one of those lists of questions meant to be forwarded to everyone you know. Ordinarily, I disregard these things, but this one had the benefit of coming right when I could not take another moment of my current task at work, so I filled it out. I now present the results for all of you, updated as I thought of more specific answers.
The Survey
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Dad's friend from college. Last I knew, he was divorced and drank a lot. It's a lot to live up to, but I'll do what I can.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Two days ago, listening to the song where Evita dies, but in a manly way.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I type for a living. This wasn't really a choice.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Veggie Bologna.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
One boy, one girl, and a developmentally challenged inner child.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes. We would be BFFs, dress alike and do each other's hair right up until I hit on my lovely wife, and then I would be forced to whip my own ass.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Oh no, I would never use sarcasm. (Actually, not as much as you might think.)
8.. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes. I also have the tonsils of several other people, as well as a spleen and a three inch section of a colon. It's all on eBay.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Afraid of heights.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Captain Crunch, but only because I hate the skin on the roof of my mouth and feel the need to remove it occasionally.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Nope.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Not strong enough.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Tofutti Vanilla Almond Bark.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Sense of humor or lack thereof.
15. RED OR PINK?
Depends on the type of wound.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I occasionally don't take things seriously when I probably should.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Squirrels - they're small, quick and frequently fit between the tires.
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
If they're still speaking to me, sure.
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Brown.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Donut.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Jonathan Coulton.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Indian red - it's slightly offensive to some, but unique enough to want to keep around.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Baked goods, tots after bath time, the fear of of my opponents.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My lovely wife.
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
My favorite babysitter? You betcha!
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cat juggling.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown.
28. EYE COLOR?
Brown.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Glasses.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Tofurkey.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies with happy endings, where the monster gets the girl.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Parts of a Tinkerbell movie I guess.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Black, brown and gold.
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends on the target.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Fruit pie.
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
No idea.
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
No idea.
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Make Love the Bruce Campell Way.
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I'm a trackball user.
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Five minutes of Racheal Maddow before passing out.
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Kid giggles.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME???
Idaho.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can disarm a man using nothing but dental floss and a spork. Not as useful as it sounds.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Sparrow Hospital, Lansing.
47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
President Obama. I sent him an email asking if I could be Secretary of Bathroom Humor. Haven't heard back yet.
1 comment:
This is brilliant!
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