Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm Waiting For the Monkey Flu, Which Will Most Likely Be Adorable

It seems to me that when I take a new scary antibiotic, the natural turn of events would be me feeling better. For some reason, however, I always seem to get a few days in and get sicker. Today, I just want to curl up into a ball on a couch. Of course, as a programmer, it requires approximately the same physical effort to code as it does to sit on a couch and get my butt kicked at Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops on my PSP, so here I am a-coding. What's funny is that today I feel guilty about that because the powers that be have told us in no uncertain terms that if we are sick, we need to stay home. The reason?

Somebody caught the flu from a pig.

Yes, the whole world is up in arms over yet another flu named after an animal. First we all freaked out over the avian flu, and now we're all freaked out over the swine flu. I don't know who it is who's spending quality time with these animals and then not washing their mitts afterwards, but if I'm understanding the reports correctly, it seems like a lot of these potential pandemics would be lessened by some Lava and running water. Maybe just not getting all up in the livestock's grille would help.

I should take care not to make too light of the situation, however. I've read The Stand. A pandemic, as I understand it, would probably suck. I'm just not sure that some of the silliness I've now heard about (people being scared to eat pork, for example) is really warranted at this point. It's the flu. Yes, it kills a few people every year. Yes, it's a new flavor that we haven't seen before. But really, it's the flu. Hell, I have asthma and should by all right be terrified of this thing, but so far, it just looks like a nasty bug I can probably avoid by lots of hand washing.

Still, I suppose I should have stayed home. After all, who knows how far this thing could go? I mean, if it really is a serious virus that spreads like wildfire throughout the land, I should be at home stocking my shelves with water bottles and canned goods, right? Making sure I have enough supplies to get my family and I through a good month or so. Maybe I should even pick up a couple of axes and some boards for the windows and doors.

After all, we never really know when the big one is going to strike, and if this turns out the be the bug that brings forth the zombies, I should probably be prepared.

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