Now If You Could Get a Tiny Ascot and Pipe, Well That Would Be Different

Recently, I had occasion to be hanging around the old Babies R Us, which frankly is not my favorite place. I love babies, so that's not the part that bothers me. Rather, it's that when I'm in the place, it's because my lovely wife is looking for something for someone else, so I'm typically pushing the Moose around in a cart trying to keep him entertained. Between this and the fact that, unlike Toys R Us, Babies R Us doesn't really have any toys I want to play with, it gets old quick.

A few years ago, when I was preparing for the coming of the Princess, I noted that some of the baby products were...how do I put this? Silly and extravagant. Let me give you an example. There were wipe warmers. They do exactly what you might think. They warm wipes. I'm not sure how many complaints people were getting from infants, but I felt this was a bit much. Besides, you don't really want to make the whole diaper changing thing too pleasant, lest the little tot decide to continue producing output in this manner instead of learning to use the potty. In fact, I may very well throw our wipes in the fridge when I get home.

Another one that drives me nuts are all the little things people buy because they're cute. Example - the tiny bathrobe. Yes, it's adorable. Yes, you'll probably score one really cute picture of the baby all wrapped up in it. And yes, you're spending twenty dollars on something the kid will grow out of in about four months. Let me tell you, when you get to the hundredth well-baby visit, you're gonna wish you had that twenty bucks back, cute picture or not.

Anyway, I thought those were silly, but what I saw last weekend beat them by a mile. They now have an spa and shower bathtub for infants, complete with whirlpool action. I know that they say that you're supposed to spoil babies, and I agree, but come on people. The baby isn't really going to benefit from a whirlpool. As I recall, baby bath time mostly revolved around quickly washing the little thing up before they could make in the tub. When the baby does add a little something to the water (and they will) I'm thinking I'd prefer not having the "motorized jet" stirring things up.

This is similar to my reasoning behind being a smidge uncomfortable with public hot tubs now that I think about it, but we can talk about that another time.