Or I Could Write A Script That Adds The Current Zombie Alert Level

When I got my iPhone, it came with an automatic email signaure. For those of you that aren't tied to a computer that you carry around and pretend it's a phone, people who send emails from their phone set these up. As I recall, all it said was something like "Sent from my iPhone", which struck me as kind of obnoxious. It was like I was sending an advertisement with every message. "This email brought to you by the good people at Apple and their amazing iPhone technology."

Blech.

I looked around a bit, and found that this is actually standard fare. I think the idea is to let people know that you're sending the email from your mobile device in an effort to get some slack on bad spelling or brevity. Some of them are quite explicit about this, going all "please excuse any misspellings or terseness", which I frankly find to be a bit silly. I mean, you went out and bought the thing because it has a full keyboard and sends email, and then immediately use it as an excuse to be lazy. My personal feeling is that if you're sending a message, you can take the time to check it for spelling. If you don't have that kind of time, perhaps you should put the phone down and focus on driving your damned car instead.

I suppose that there are times when you need to send out a quick message, but those aren't really the kind of situations that allow for a canned response, right? Maybe just in case I should set up an automatic signature on my phone after all. That way, if I do find myself in one of these situations, I'll be ready. What do you think of this:

Please excuse any errors in my English or spelling, but if you see such errors, there's a pretty good chance I'm actually bound and gagged and managed to type out this message with my nose while holding my iPhone between my knees. You might consider calling the police, especially if I misuse "your" and "you're", which even a failed English major knows is completely unacceptable and frankly frustrates me to the point where just reading it makes me want to punch a kitten.

You know, I think I'm probably just better off without one after all.