Also Bad: So, Which One Of You Is the 'Bert'?

I realized today while reading about the Proposition 8 trial going what the real issue with the whole group of people trying to prevent gay marriage is. It's not the "protection of marriage". It's not that allowing gay people to marry will open the doors for similar "civil rights" cases arguing that the love between a man and his Roomba is a natural and beautiful thing and should be protected under the law (seriously, listening to this guy, you'd think that was coming).

It's just that you're probably uncomfortable meeting gay couples.

This stems from a couple of things. People are always uncomfortable with encountering those who lead what they view as a radically different life style as themselves. I get the same reaction when people find out I'm a vegetarian. They get all uncomfortable, often reacting in strange ways. Well, it's the exact same thing, exept instead of eating vegetables, I'd be eating another man.

Wait, that might make me a cannibal. Well, you get the idea anyway. Moving on.

Another thing I hear often is that the idea of two men having sex makes some guys really uncomfortable (I cannot speak to how women feel about this, but if the movies they show late at night on cable are any indicator, it's not as big an issue with them). My advice to these people is that maybe, when you meet a couple of gay men, you should not immediately picture them having sex. I mean, if you automatically do that with every couple you meet, then I guess for the sake of equality go ahead (although it's not a habit I recommend, as it can lead to awkward conversation when meeting neighbors or your spouse's coworkers - "Hi, I'm Roger. Is he as flexible as he looks?"). Either way, eventually, you'll get over it.



Finally, I think the biggest problem is that people get hung up on traditional roles in marriage, and immediately want to figure out who is the husband and who is the wife. This is silly. I think we've come far enough as a civilization that we can acknowledge that these are just titles in a heterosexual marriage. I suppose if it's really an issue, you can ask who has to check on night time noises and kill the spiders in the house, but I'm still not sure what it will get you.

So what is the point of all of this? It's that I think a lot of people who support things like Proposition 8 do so purely on the basis of things that make them uncomfortable. Yes, I know there are religious arguments, but mostly I think it's basic discomfort and xenophobia, both of which can be addressed by simply recognizing that when you encounter someone, anyone, you probably have a whole lot more in common with them than you think, and that the differences are probably things that can be overcome.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've been feeling lonely lately. I'm comforting myself by looking at the newest model Roombas...just look at how it swivels. I swear, I get chills just watching it.