Taking a Stand

I've recently converted my fuzzy cell....sorry, "cubicle"...to a standing setup. What this means, for those not initiated to such shenanigans, is that all of my monitors, my keyboard and my track ball now sit about two feet above my desk surface. This allows me to stand all day while performing my many important duties at work, like looking at captioned cat pictures or judging people online.

When I declared my intention to do this, some people questioned why I would purposely commit to being on my feet all day, with the obvious answer being health reasons. I'll leave it to the reader to search out the articles espousing the virtues of not sitting on your posterior all day (ironically, because I'm lazy). Trust me. Lots of people in lab coats who get paid more than me have said not to sit all day.

This is not actually the primary reason for my choice, however. No, for me it's about power. In the varied landscape of people one finds in an office environment, there are those who lack the common courtesy to recognize that the average programmer's desire for face-to-face contact is generally comparable to their desire for face-to-wolverine contact. Thus living in the cubicle labyrinth comes with the constant threat of someone wandering into your cubicle expecting a conversation. Since you were presumably working, you are presumably sitting when they arrive.

And now you're presumably having a conversation with a co-workers crotch.

Oh sure, you can correct your line of sight, but the damage has been done. Whatever question that needed addressing is now overshadowed by your suddenly gained knowledge. Did I need to know that the person talking dresses to the left? Or that the interloper is suffering from a degree of camel toe that leaves you questioning how she walked over here without whimpering in the first place?

This is no way to start a conversation.

Now, when I am forced to turn around and direct my ire at whomever was so presumptuous as to interrupt my thought processes, we stand on even ground. I look them in the eye, tell them what they need to know, and shoo them off quickly and without distraction. Then I turn back around and get back to the task at hand.

This status isn't going to update itself.